The President of Kickassia!
by IndyFan117
Summary: A different take on The Wizard of Oz with Legend of the Guardians and That Guy with the Glasses characters. Gylfie, Digger and Twilight has been gone for eight days so Soren sets out to find them but ends up in Kickassia. Rated T for mild language.
1. Chapter 1: The Madness Begins

**Welcome to my third story.**

At the Great Ga'Hoole Tree.

Ezylryb: Soren. I need you!.

Soren: Yes, Ezylryb?.

Ezylryb: Have you noticed that Gylfie, Digger and Twilight have been gone for eight days straight?.

Soren: Yes. Why?.

Ezylryb: I think it's time for you to investigate thier disappearences.

Soren: Righto.

Soren then gets ready to find his friends. He may suspect Nyra and the Pure Ones maybe behind the whole thing. Maybe Nyra wants revenge for MetalBeak's death. Soren then gets stuck in a storm and ends up getting lost.

Soren: Gylfie!. Twilight!. Digger!. WHERE ARE YOU!.

Soren shouted for them but it was no use. Soren then discovers a tornado and tries to fly away but ends up getting sucked into the tornado.

12 Hours Later, Soren wakes up to discover something very different.

Soren: Oh my glaux. I don't think i'm in the owl kingdoms anymore.

Some Guy: Wait. Where were you from again?.

Soren then turned around to see a human being.

Soren: You're a... human.

Guy: Yeah so?.

Soren: No owl has ever seen an owl in 50,000 years.

Guy: Holy s**t!. Really?.

Dark Guy: What is this?.

Guy: Oh uh... nothing.

Dark Guy: Oh really?.

The dark guy picks up Soren and is about to kill him with his weapon. But Soren then managed to escape, grab the weapon and fire it at the dark guy's back.

Dark Guy: AHH!. That's my weak spot!. I... i... damn!.

The dark guy is dead.

Soren: Never put your hands on a Guardian.

Guy: Okay, guys!. HE'S DEAD!.

A bunch of clones wearing army helmets come out of thier houses and surround Soren.

Soren: I'm sorry but who are you and where am i?.

Guy: The name's Angry Joe and this is the proud nation of KICKASSIA!.

Soren was stunned at the top of his voice.

Other Guy: What the hell is going on?.

Angry Joe: Cinema Snob, this owl took down Lord Vyce. WE'RE FREE!..

Soren: That's who this is?.

Cinema Snob: Well that was... i don't know what to describe it. I am the Cinema Snob and you are...

Soren: My name is Soren.

Cinema Snob: Pleased to meet you. I just noticed you're handy work and found out you might be the one.

Soren: What?.

Angry Joe: There's a prophecy that's hard to explain but the prophecy says that whoever takes down one of the evil rulers of Kickassia, he or she shall be the one to take down the main bad guy.

Cinema Snob: And we found your ass!. You are the only one who can help us.

Soren: Sorry, I don't understand this. I was traveling around to find me friends. An elf owl, a burrowing owl and a great grey owl.

Angry Joe: Oh yeah. I saw those owls come here and got captured.

Soren: By who?.

Cinema Snob: I don't know but the only one who knows is our president. If you go see him, he will show you where your friends are.

Soren: And help us get back to Ga'Hoole?.

Angry Joe: Uhh, kid. I know nothing of your mumbo jumbo but yeah he can help you.

Cinema Snob: Oh and you'll need Vyce's weapon to protect yourself.

Soren: Thank you.

Angry Joe: Alrighty then. Go my friend!. May Santa Christ be with you!.

Soren then set out his quest to find the president of Kickassia to find his friends and confront the evil that has taken over the marvelous nation.

**Tune in for Part 2.**


	2. Chapter 2: Meeting a Comic Geek

**Welcome to Part 2... sorry it took so long.**

Soren was flying down the road to find the President of Kickassia.

Soren: I wonder what this President would look like. Maybe he's some ancient spirit who brings the universe with peace or maybe he's like everybody else I've met... a human.

Soren then meets a guy wearing a purdy hat.

Hat Guy: Get off me you goddamn retards!.

Evil Comic: NO!. You bashed us for bad writing, dumb characters and continuity issues long enough!. YOU WILL WORSHIP US!.

Soren: HEY!. Why don't you pick on someone your own size!.

Evil Comic 2: Who says?.

Soren pulls out Vyce's weapon.

Evil Comics: AH CRAP!.

Evil Comic 2: Let's get outta here!.

The Evil Comics flew away.

Hat Guy: Thanks. God I hate those bloody comics. My name is Linkara.

Soren: I'm Soren. I come from the owl kingdoms.

Linkara: Owl kingdoms?. Never heard of that kind of mumbo jumbo before. I noticed you're holding Lord Vyce's weapon. That means you're heading towards the President of Kickassia.

Soren: Yeah.

Linkara: Well I need to talk with the President about the insane infestation of these awful comics coming to life.

Soren: I can see that.

Linkara: Mind if I tag along?.

Soren: Sure.

So Soren and Linkara head off.

Soren: Linkara, what is the history behind this kingdom.

Linkara: First of all it's nation not kingdom and second of all it's very complicated.

**Will Soren and Linkara make it to the centre of the nation?. Tune in for Part 3.**


	3. Chapter 3: He Hates Final Fantasy!

**Welcome to Part 3.**

Soren and Linkara head down the road and encounter a house.

Linkara: We might wanna rest here for the night.

Soren: You sure?.

Linkara: A friend of mine lives here.

Linkara's Friend: F**K!. Goddamn blob.. thingys!.

Linkara: He's incredibly insane by the way.

They enter the house and meet Linkara's friend.

Linkara: Hi, Spoony.

Spoony: Linkara!, help me beat this abomination!. It's pissing me off!.

Linkara: Spoony, that's not important right now.

Spoony: Then what is?.

Soren: I'm on my way to see the person who runs this nation.

Spoony looks at Soren who is carrying Vyce's weapon.

Spoony: ARE YOU S**TING ME?.

Linkara: I know it's baffling but trust me, he is the hero we're looking for.

Spoony: Bulls**t!. Prove it by destroying this pile of crap!.

Spoony holds up Bloodwings: Pumpkinhead's Revenge and Soren blasts it.

Spoony: Okay, I believe you.

Soren: That's a little bit simple.

Linkara: We're just here to rest for the night so we can start fresh in the morning.

Spoony: Well if you're going to see the President then I wanna come too!.

Soren: Why?.

Spoony: BECAUSE I WANT A TELEPORTER TO TRAVEL TO THE HOME OF PAUL W.S ANDERSON AND PUNISH HIS ASS FOR RAPING THE RESIDENT EVIL FRANCHISE... TOO MANY F**KING TIMES!.

Linkara and Soren look on in shock at how pissed off Spoony was at the Resident Evil movies.

Soren: Well... that was unexpected... and disturbing.

Linkara: Agreed. Let's get some sleep.

Soren, Linkara and Spoony have a good night sleep to get ready to continue the journey.

**Will Spoony ever get to kick Paul Anderson's ass?. Tune in for Part 4.**


End file.
